Weekly Marriage & Family Check-Point



We received some good advice early in our marriage: carve out regular time for “check-points” in your marriage; times to take inventory on your relationship, logistics, soul-care, etc. A few years ago I heard a more solidified approach from Jeff Vanderstelt. He spoke about sitting down weekly with his wife and asking a few key questions about loving Jesus, loving one another, and loving the kids.

I’ve tweaked these questions and created a format that works for our marriage. On Sunday evenings after the kids go to bed, we pull out the calendar, pray, and work through these categories. We don’t hit every sub-question. The goal is to focus on the four major areas, cultivate healthy discussion, and humbly submit to Christ’s Lordship in our life together. As a Christian Husband and Father, I find practical tools like this to be helpful in putting into practice what it means to love and lead my wife and kids as a Christ-like servant. Maybe these can be of help to you…

  1. How are we doing with Logistics ?
    • What do we need to put on/take off of the calendar?
    • What budget planning/ review do we need to do?
    • What else do we need to plan?

  2. How are we doing with Loving Jesus
    • How is my Personal time in the Word and Prayer?
    • How have I been loving others and living on mission (church, neighbors, etc.)
    • How have I responded to difficult situations this week? 
    • How have I responded to blessings this week?
    • How have I experienced the sweetness of God’s presence this week?

  3. How are we doing at loving each other?
    • How have I invested time into my spouse this week?
    • How have I sinned against my spouse? Have I sought forgiveness and reconciliation?
    • What spiritual conversations and times of prayer have we had?
    • How often have we laughed together this week?
    • What things are threatening harmony in our marriage right now?

  4. How are we doing at loving the kids?


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